I knew from childhood that I’d lived before.
My first memory was 'shit, why was I born again?' at just three years old. I carried that burden of emotional, unexplainable pain my entire life. Seeking therapy, I tried past-life regression and hypnosis. After consistent failures, let-downs, and disappointments, I had my first emotional trauma in this life at age 27, which stuck and changed all events from that point onwards. From previously having been someone who understood how to manifest desires and dreams, I became unable to achieve. My heart broke and I lost my ability to manifest and create in this life. I was lost and suffocated, weighed down by what seemed to be just deep, consistent sadness and grief, which I could not let go of from that point forward. Sleep was my solace; my happy place. My waking moments were filled with anxiety. I had panic attacks, low self-worth and a pessimistic attitude.
Even after trying and gaining opportunities consistently, from 27 to 47 years old, I could not fulfill the opportunity and reach the ultimate goal of success. Just 20 years of consistent failure. Every project would fail, every relationship would end in disappointment and betrayal. I felt people resented me for no reason. I felt I had multiple talents but only had them to be tortured by failure. I felt people resented my talents. That if they found out that I was so multi-talented that I should be taken down a peg or two. Although I, myself, was my greatest critic, I felt everything I did was not good enough.
I would attract people that used me; that would say they admired my abilities but resented me for them in the end. Any pain of just a slight trauma would lead to contemplation of suicide. Worrying about the best way for a quick death. Death seemed so logical as living was like a living death. I realised there was no way to escape from this feeling but I worried that I would return to another life with the same pain. I understood there was no escape and that I had to resolve this in this life.
My mother, whom is highly intuitive, would say repeatedly that I had black magic on me. However, I believed that I was just a failure and that was the outcome, but part of me knew that it was not me that was a failure and that something was not right.
One evening though an introduction, I met Natalia. After meeting Natalia, she instantly saw what my mother saw; that there was something upon me. There was something wrong. She had no prior knowledge of my life. She had never met me before but she saw this dark cloud. I went to Natalia with an open mind as her being able to see this made it easier to trust her.
Her process of spiritual energy healing was not like the process I was used to or knew. Natalia asked me to make myself comfortable so I lay and closed my eyes as she seemed to tap into my deepest subconscious mind psychically. I recorded our first session and was amazed at what she picked up about my father; things she could not know. She understood that my father was one of the main roots of my trauma in this life. Pulling up past lives I could feel an understanding as to why I was holding on to traumas that did not make sense in this life.
After the first session it felt as if a weight was lifted from me. Opportunities started to enter my life, as if a tap was opened. The blockages had gone, but even I was skeptical and thought it was just in my head. But, no matter how much I tried, I could not go back to my old way of thinking, no sugar pill can do that. I began to monitor my thoughts, waiting for the negativity to flood back in, but nothing would happen. My depressive thoughts were gone. I started thinking rationally (I had room to think rationally). My brain had space instead of 1000 thoughts per minute, which would keep me up at night. I am finally realising these thoughts were not actually mine, but thoughts accumulated over many lifetimes, still torturing me in this life. Now I’m writing this testimonial I’m understanding clearly, and finally, about what was happening to me all these years. Now it makes perfect sense and I genuinely cannot thank Natalia enough. I cannot explain to you how she has done it but I can testify it has been done.
I’m finally free from severe depression. My thoughts are my own. I feel, with all the new opportunities that are now coming to me, the same positive expectation I had before I was stifled with my first trauma. I finally know how to create again. I have confidence in my talents and free from guilt about having them. I now feel and know that my talents are a blessing instead of a curse. I feel peoples’ attitude towards me, including my father’s have changed from resentment into appreciation and respect. I feel confident in asking for a fair exchange for the value of my work and I’m now receiving no resistance in this regard. I feel like I’m clear and ready to move forward. There is so much room to create!